On the Fence

Moving away from a community where you're completely settled is like yanking out nose hair. Or in my case, just deciding to move away. I keep tottering on the edge: Go forward. Stay still. Go forward, stay still. Those words are chugging around in my mind like train wheels. The fear of change is paralyzing. I love our life here. Family, neighbors, too-small-house and all. But we moved to this town when my child was 5 in order to improve her chances for a better education. It was a gift from the gods to find this house, this life. Now my baby is grown, brilliant, and happy—and we are in debt above our eyebrows. It was the right choice, but it can't continue. Recession. Work is disappearing for me, and since my husband is also freelance, we must do what was referred to in Persuasion (my favorite book) as "retrench."

So, I think the decision has been made for us by the current housing market and recession. We must move, and there are very few places we can get what we want for how much we'll have and still... Stay within 2 hours of my family, have a bigger house/some acreage, be within 30 minutes of a Kaiser. And Auburn looks like that place. So I need to get off the fence. CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME A GOD DAMN PUSH???